Inspirational: From Lyndsay's Letter

"James 1:5 is almost at the end of the Bible. Joseph Smith had to read all the way til there to find his answer--but it came! Likewise, sometimes we have to wait and search and wait some more--but the answers always come. Trust in the Lord that He will fulfill His promises--in His due time :)"

I love her. This is what I needed to read today. Just because I don't have an answer yet, does not mean that it isn't coming. I just have to be patient and wait for the time when the Lord knows that I am ready for the answer.

"Army Wife: It's not my status; it's my life-long promise to him." ~Anonymous

Photo time

"Straight is the Gate" by Robert A. Boyd

Today, I lost my volunteer shirt so I couldn't go volunteer. My "boss" only works M-F so I couldn't just ask for a new one either. I decided to go to choir practice instead (which we all found out was cancelled 20 minutes after it was supposed to start). My ward choir meets in the institute building that is in the church parking lot. In the classroom there was this photo and I couldn't take my eyes off of it. I fell in love with it right away. I searched the interwebs and finally found it. It is among my favorite pictures of the SLC temple that I have ever seen. I'm debating on saving up my pennies and buying it for my home for Christmas. Ordering it on canvas...that would put such a beautiful spirit into the house.

"Army Wife: It's not my status; it's my life-long promise to him." ~Anonymous

Progress

At the beginning of October, I got a phone call from my Angel. It was a really short one but we got to pray together...it was amazing. I felt so much peace that I hadn't felt in weeks. Before we prayed, we decided that we were going to read one chapter in the Book of Mormon every day until he got home. That way, it would be like we were reading it together and we would feel closer to each other. We would also be growing in the ways that matter most. We are going to save the last chapter for the day he gets home and read it together. After we are completely finished, we'll follow Moroni's advice and pray about it.

I'm keeping a chart on my bedroom wall so that I can keep track of where we need to be. He has been great with reading everyday. I, on the other hand, have sucked it up. I thought I only missed a day or two but it turns out that I am a week behind him. I'm working on it lol. I'm catching up to him. He is so...much better than I am but I'm trying.

The first week that we started that was amazing! Everything that would have normally driven me mad just rolled off my back like the duck that I am(that's a story for a completely different time). The gospel of Jesus Christ is such a blessing to have in my life. No matter what is going on in my life, there is a huge sense of peace when I follow the commandments. Having someone who shares this love with me? The best blessing I could have asked for.

"Army Wife: It's not my status, it's my life-long promise to him." ~Anonymous

I'm...not sure

Well, I am not sure what to write today. I have had this nagging in the back of my head for a while now...I just feel like I need to write. Whether or not I actually publish this is an entirely different matter.

The last week or two has been difficult and when I find myself getting down I have to stop whatever I'm doing, take a deep breath, and count. No, not 1...2...3... I'm counting months. It has been almost 27 months (next week) since my soldier and I got married. It has been 17 months since we moved to SLC from Logan. In 3 weeks, I will have been at my current job for a year and we will have had our dog, Jax for 2 years. I have been living in our current house for almost 6 months. I graduated from high school 3 1/2 years ago. Time does pass. It is always moving and it is, most definitely, not stopped right now. Yes, it feels like I'm stuck in time but then I remember things that happened a while ago. It helps me remember that, soon, the deployment will be on my list of "so many months ago...Soulmate was deployed."

I have this problem and I've known about it for a really long time. Today, in Sunday School, one of the verses of scripture we read was Matthew 7:3-5. It talks about how we are hypocrites because we view the mote in our brother's eye but cannot see the beam that is in our own. Now, I have been trying and trying to not judge others because it is not my place. Being human, I fail on a constant basis but this lesson...this lesson today really hit me hard. I have more flaws than I would ever care to admit and I have no room to do anything but show love for all of God's children. I wish that I could be more Christlike and I'm trying.

The last thing about this post that I think is important is:

I don't know how I won the heart of such an amazing man. Zach is everything that I'm not. He is everything that I need. Even from 7338 miles away, he knows exactly what to say to make everything ok. He knows when I'm upset even when I think I'm doing an awesome job at hiding it. He knows every little thing about me and loves me anyways. My flaws and oddities don't scare him away...he says that they make him love me even more. Every day that he is gone, my love for him grows more than I knew possible. How can such a tiny muscle in your body, hold so much? How can it be constantly expanding to hold more and, yet, remain the same size? This man...Oh, this man. He is my rock. He gives me strength when I don't think that I can go on. He has always encouraged me in everything that I do. He has always seen the beauty that is within me, even when I can't see anything. He keeps me in check when I'm about to go too far...he pushes me when I don't go far enough. I love him. I can honestly say that I am terrified of who I would be if he had never come into my life. Before I met him, I was in such a bad place. Then along came this  amazing, wonderful stranger who made me fall head-over-heels in love with him. I will forever be grateful to my Father in Heaven for sending him to me. I know that when he made Zach he was thinking about how he was going to save me one day. If you're, somehow, reading this...I will love you until the end of Eternity.

"Army Wife: It's not my status, it's my life-long promise to him." ~Anonymous

Quotable: Pooh and Piglet

"What day is it?"

"It's today," squeaked Piglet.

"My favorite day," said Pooh.

I love this quote so much! After reading it, I decided that I would never let one day pass that wasn't my favorite day. Even if EVERYTHING goes wrong, I can always find something to be grateful for that will make it my favorite day yet. 

Today is my favorite day because Zach called me. I was in a really crappy service zone so he couldn't hear me, but I got to hear him. He told me that he loves me. That is all that I need to make it through today.

"Army Wife: It's not my status; it's a life-long promise to him." ~Anonymous

Secrets, secrets are...so. much. fun.

Wanna know a secret? It's a juicy one.

*****************************************************************

I. Love. My. Body.

*gasp* "She said what??" I know! We are programed to HATE ourselves! At least, that's what I thought for YEARS! I hated everything about me. I couldn't see why Husband would love me so much. He thought that I was perfect. Yes, he would encourage me to exercise with him but he always made sure that I knew, "I love you no matter what. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met!" Psh....yeah right ;)

Well, since he deployed I've made it a goal to get back down to my DS College weight (DS was my first college away from home. I weighed 140) and get tone! I have never been tone. I know, that's EVERY Deployed Wife's goal! "Ooooh, I'm gonna get fit for the husband" and then they never do it! I was one of them.

On August 9th, I kicked it into gear. A few weeks before, I had learned about this thing called Crossfit...it looked so scary! August 9th was the day I tried it out for the first time. I also started going back on my diet (see my post about the diet. Should be around October 2011). Because of this awesomeness I have gone from 180.3 on Aug. 9th, to 170.0 today! Less than a month later!

The love of my body started 4 days after starting Crossfit. I noticed a tiny change and that was awesome. This morning I looked in the mirror at my much skinnier self, ran downstairs to the scale, almost passed out from pure shock, and got dressed for another awesome work out!

I forgot to get my inches measurement today but I know that I have lost at least 1 inch because my pants don't fit...even with a belt on.

This has been SUCH an inspiring experience for me! I hate exercising more than any person I know and if I can do it, so can you! 

I will probably post a few of the quotes that have helped keep me going at a later date. Until then, here is the one that helped me go today. 

"Never quit. Because when you see someone fight that hard, it makes life seem pretty easy. The more you give, the more you realize how easy life really is. Pain is temporary, but quitting lasts forever."
- U.S. Navy SEAL Unknown

"Army Wife: It's not my status; it's my life-long promise to him." ~Anonymous

Putting It Into Perspective

Here is a song that my sweet friend, Sabrina, posted. So far, on this deployment journey I have: completely broken down in front of my math teacher, gotten about 4 hours of sleep every night, am []this close to failing my classes this semester because I can't focus, I have pasted that fake smile for the world to see while I'm at work, I deal with the "Oh, I totally understand! I've seen Army Wives!" and the "Oh. THAT'S his job? He's safe." people, and, through the Lord, have become stronger than I ever knew possible. 

However, through this whole experience (other than praying for their safety) I have been so selfish! I thought that this experience wasn't hard on the soldiers "because they trained for it". I thought that I was the only one hurting. I know that it is hard for them, but I was only thinking of myself. After Sabrina posted this song, my view on this did a complete 180. I need the rest of you military wives/girlfriends/husbands/families out there to see that it isn't easy on them either. They didn't want to leave us...they had to. This song made me love my soldier so much more than I did before. It made me see how hard it was for him to say goodbye again...but he did it because it was asked of him. He is among the most selfless men I have ever met and I am so grateful that we have this life together. Yes, it's hard, but I wouldn't change one second of what we have together. 

So, without further ado, I give you...

Memphis May Fire-- Miles Away

"Army Wife: It's not my status; it's my life-long promise to him." ~Anonymous