Reunited and It Feels SO Dang Good!

It's almost been a year since I last posted and SO much has happened! I have had a lot of my readers asking for this particular post for about 8 months so here it is!

APRIL 25, 2013

0400: I'm wide awake because my excitement is just too much! I really did try to sleep longer than that but I couldn't contain it. Off to the shower I go to get dressed and ready for the biggest thing that has probably ever happened to me. 

0530: Out the door as fast as I can so that I can beat the huge traffic jam that is sure to ensue. 

0600: Show up at the Air Guard Airport anxiously awaiting the text that's going to tell me that his plane has FINALLY left Texas!!!

If you can't already tell, today is the day that the love of my life comes home from a deployment that has allowed me to see him for all of two weeks in the last YEAR! I ran into some of my dear Army Wife friends and others who I never got to meet in person but who I came to love so much. For me, it felt like being in a marathon and seeing your entire support group there with you, cheering you on to the end. Yes, there were times when we didn't want to be around each other but they became sisters to me. 

Just a few of the women who got me through every, agonizing, day

My family showed up in time to keep me from going insane! My parents, Zach's parents, my oldest sister, and his younger brother, and his paternal grandparents showed up to see him get off of the plane. I was so grateful that they took time out of their busy schedules to make it! (I lost a lot of my pictures but I'm posting the ones I've got left)

Grandma, Jordan, and Dad

My parental units

Waiting for the plane with Mahauni and Jordan!!

My sign. He makes for such a good model. 

Me and my daddy :)

A sign the Rear D (the part of the company that stays home for support) made for them.

It took a FOREVER for all the seconds to pass. Luckily I had lots of family to help me pass the time. Then it happened. One second there was nothing withing miles and the next...HIS PLANE WAS ROLLING IT!!!! I was, literally, shaking because I was so excited. Then it hit me just how nervous I was. "What if he doesn't like me anymore?" "What if 8 months at Crossfit wasn't enough?" "What if I've changed too much?" "Ahh!! I don't think I can go up there!" I was a basket case of emotions.

The soldiers started piling out of the plane, running to their loved ones and all I could do was let my craziness take over me. Just when I thought I was going to explode, there he was. HE WAS REALLY HOME!!!!! The second I saw his face I started to cry, then I began tapping Jordan on the shoulder saying, "He's here! He's here! There he is!!" I couldn't move though. I wanted to go look for him but I just stood on my chair. Later, Zach told me that his mom found him and "It was nice to see her but you were the only one I was looking for. I couldn't even focus on saying hi to her because I was looking for you." My mom finally snapped me out of it and pulled me off of my chair. I found him and I have never felt more complete. All my fear went away. My soldier was safe. At home. With me.

His plane!

When I saw him get off the plane

First picture of his back on Utah soil

He was looking for me

Aaaaand...he found me

P.S. My fears were completely out of place. He was so excited to be home and our marriage has never been stronger!

"Army Wife: It's not my status; it's my life long promise to him." ~Anonymous

Secrets, secrets are...so. much. fun.

Wanna know a secret? It's a juicy one.

*****************************************************************

I. Love. My. Body.

*gasp* "She said what??" I know! We are programed to HATE ourselves! At least, that's what I thought for YEARS! I hated everything about me. I couldn't see why Husband would love me so much. He thought that I was perfect. Yes, he would encourage me to exercise with him but he always made sure that I knew, "I love you no matter what. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met!" Psh....yeah right ;)

Well, since he deployed I've made it a goal to get back down to my DS College weight (DS was my first college away from home. I weighed 140) and get tone! I have never been tone. I know, that's EVERY Deployed Wife's goal! "Ooooh, I'm gonna get fit for the husband" and then they never do it! I was one of them.

On August 9th, I kicked it into gear. A few weeks before, I had learned about this thing called Crossfit...it looked so scary! August 9th was the day I tried it out for the first time. I also started going back on my diet (see my post about the diet. Should be around October 2011). Because of this awesomeness I have gone from 180.3 on Aug. 9th, to 170.0 today! Less than a month later!

The love of my body started 4 days after starting Crossfit. I noticed a tiny change and that was awesome. This morning I looked in the mirror at my much skinnier self, ran downstairs to the scale, almost passed out from pure shock, and got dressed for another awesome work out!

I forgot to get my inches measurement today but I know that I have lost at least 1 inch because my pants don't fit...even with a belt on.

This has been SUCH an inspiring experience for me! I hate exercising more than any person I know and if I can do it, so can you! 

I will probably post a few of the quotes that have helped keep me going at a later date. Until then, here is the one that helped me go today. 

"Never quit. Because when you see someone fight that hard, it makes life seem pretty easy. The more you give, the more you realize how easy life really is. Pain is temporary, but quitting lasts forever."
- U.S. Navy SEAL Unknown

"Army Wife: It's not my status; it's my life-long promise to him." ~Anonymous

Putting It Into Perspective

Here is a song that my sweet friend, Sabrina, posted. So far, on this deployment journey I have: completely broken down in front of my math teacher, gotten about 4 hours of sleep every night, am []this close to failing my classes this semester because I can't focus, I have pasted that fake smile for the world to see while I'm at work, I deal with the "Oh, I totally understand! I've seen Army Wives!" and the "Oh. THAT'S his job? He's safe." people, and, through the Lord, have become stronger than I ever knew possible. 

However, through this whole experience (other than praying for their safety) I have been so selfish! I thought that this experience wasn't hard on the soldiers "because they trained for it". I thought that I was the only one hurting. I know that it is hard for them, but I was only thinking of myself. After Sabrina posted this song, my view on this did a complete 180. I need the rest of you military wives/girlfriends/husbands/families out there to see that it isn't easy on them either. They didn't want to leave us...they had to. This song made me love my soldier so much more than I did before. It made me see how hard it was for him to say goodbye again...but he did it because it was asked of him. He is among the most selfless men I have ever met and I am so grateful that we have this life together. Yes, it's hard, but I wouldn't change one second of what we have together. 

So, without further ado, I give you...

Memphis May Fire-- Miles Away

"Army Wife: It's not my status; it's my life-long promise to him." ~Anonymous

Stand in Holy Places

Tonight, I am half a world away from the man I love. I hurt in places I never knew existed...all because we are apart. Tonight, I didn't pray for comfort like I should have but the Lord knew exactly what I needed. He took pity on me and gave me His comfort and love even when I did not deserve it. Tonight, I am at peace. I know that everything will be ok. I know that my angel will come home to me. Tonight, the Lord heard my heart crying out to Him and answered me.

I thought I understood what people were talking about when they would say, "He hears and answers every prayer." But, until now, I had no idea. EVERY prayer. The one that I didn't say...the one that I didn't even know that my heart was screaming out. He answered me. He knows me. He loves me. Heavenly Father knew what I needed tonight and came to my rescue. His arms wrapped around me and my tears ceased, my fears subsided, and my heart was no longer troubled. 

I cannot express how grateful I am to Him for calming me down tonight. There are people around me that I can complain to but I don't, 90% of the time. They don't need to be burdened with my pain. And, honestly, I feel like they don't understand. Even the wives who are going through it with me. We are all experiencing the same deployment and a completely different deployment all at the same time. They don't know EXACTLY how I am feeling so I choose not to complain to them most the time. They have their own pain. However, HE knows my pain. He knows, right down to the last little ache. He knows exactly what I am going through right now. I love the Lord with all my heart. ...it just took me a little while to remember that He is always there if I only cry out to Him.

During all of this, I found an old song that I haven't heard in years. It brought me so much peace that I need to share it for those who need peace as well. Like the song says, "I stand in holy places, and I will not move until the Captain comes and says well done. He is the hope I hold on to." I will get through this deployment because I am holding onto Him the entire way. He gives me peace when I have none. He gives me the strength to get out of bed each day. He sends Zach's love to me when I need it most.

Tonight...I stand in holy places. I will hold on until He comes and tells me that I've done well. I will hold on until Zach comes back to me safely.

In a sea shifting values
Tossed on every wave
While the winds wail around me
I will not be afraid
To call out for my captain
To calm the waves in me
When I stand a little taller
Its only then I finally see

I stand in holy places
Protected from the storm
Anchored safe in harbor
Though my sails are ripped and worn
I stand in holy places
And I will not move
Until the Captain comes
And says Well done
He is the hope I hold on to
In holy places

There is a harbor in His holy house
An anchor in His grace
That steadies in the waves of doubt
And in every holy place
No matter where I travel
His spirits guiding me
With the Lord as my captain
There is a peaceful port in me

I stand in holy places
Protected from the storm
Anchored safe in harbor
Though my sails are ripped and worn
I stand in holy places
And I will not move
Until the Lord has come
And says well done
He is the hope I hold on to

I stand in holy places
Protected from the storm
Anchored safe in harbor
Though my sails are ripped and worn
I stand in holy places
And I will not move
Until the Lord has come 
And says well done
He is the hope I hold on to
In holy places

Holy places

"Army Wife: It's not my status. It's my life-long promise to him." ~Anonymous